Help! My Teacher Hates Me!
How to Cope

It's probably every kid's worst nightmare. You walk into the classroom, and by the time the closing bell rings you're convinced...your teacher hates you! What on earth are you going to do? You're going to be in this person's hands for an entire year! Yikes.

Don't panic. There are solutions. Just read on.

First, consider that you might be wrong. Maybe the teacher doesn't actually hate you. Ann Marie LoDolce, a science teacher in New Jersey, recently had a parent come to her and demand to know why she was picking on their child.

"You've got to be kidding!" she replied. "I haven't had a problem with him all year. He's a good student, he does his work." For whatever reason, the student had got it all wrong. So give it some time and see how things pan out.

Of course you might be right. Teachers are human. According to Robert Lamperello, nationally certified school psychologist, personality conflicts do occur. "Someone may dislike you for no apparent reason." Maybe you had a sibling that that teacher disliked or the teacher is getting pressure from your parents and taking it out on you. So what can you do?

Lamperello suggests trying to talk to the teacher to see if the differences can be worked out. "That would be so refreshing!" LoDolce said of the idea of a student going up to her and just asking right out what they were doing wrong, why they were feeling tension in the teacher-student relationship. "I would beto their suggestions," she said.

Another option is to approach your guidance counselor or school psychologist with the problem. "If I knew the student was vulnerable emotionally then it may be worth my while to go and alert the teacher to look at what he or she is doing." Lamperello said.

If that doesn't work, Lamperello suggests having a conflict resolution meeting with the school psychologist, your guidance counselor or principal. "Have them sit down and try to find out what's bothering each person and try to come to some agreement as to how to proceed." As LoDolce pointed out, "As a professional you do everything you possibly can to help that child." So chances are good that the teacher just doesn't realize the effect he or she is having on you.

Are there things you can do to keep conflicts with your teacher to a minimum?

Sure! LoDolce pointed out a few. "Do what's expected of you. Do your work. Participate in class discussions. Live up to your expectations as a student."

Lamperello added that you should avoid doing anything to antagonize the teacher, like misbehaving in class, fooling around, not listening to directions or not following through on assignments.

"Show you have an interest in the subject," LoDolce also said. "I've had kids bringing me articles...that type of stuff. Not to bribe the teacher! To show an interest within the subject. Obviously the teacher is teaching that subject because it's interesting to them. And sharing that common thing can make a relationship easier."

Pretty basic stuff, no? So why do students so often tend to think of teachers as inhuman beasts out to get them? Sure, there are going to be those few...but most of them have your best interests at heart. They want the relationship to work as much as you do.

So next time you're convinced your teacher hates you, make sure you're doing your work and not fooling around in class. If that doesn't solve the problem, try talking to your teacher directly. If you're still unhappy, get your guidance counselor or principal involved.

You're not going to be able to change the teacher. As LoDolce said, "Bottom line is you can only change yourself."