When Older Parents Live At Home

Maggie and her husband, Jim, were driving away from her parents' house. "I'm so worried about them," Maggie said. "I don't know how they make it up and down those steep stairs. That bathtub is so high-I don't know how either of them gets in and out of it without falling. And did you see what a hard time my Mom had in the kitchen? She has so much trouble grasping the knobs on the cabinets and faucets.." "But you know they refuse to move from that house?" Jim replied. "You and your sisters don't even bring it up anymore-it's such a sore subject. What can you do? "

Two miracles of modern medicine have been people not only living longer but also having a better quality of life to enjoy those extra years. Better medical care and new medicines help people enjoy leisure time activities, keep working if they wish, and remain in their homes. Yet, increasing age can make tasks that were once easy to do quite difficult. Hands that have arthritis may have trouble gripping tiny knobs. Failing eyesight may make it easy to skip a stair step. You may have elderly parents moving in with you or a parents living in their home who may not need -or want-to move into a nursing home or an assisted living center. So, what you need to do is accident-proof their living space. Fortunately, manufacturers have anticipated the needs of an aging population and you can easily find products that will make the home safer..

The Bathroom

The bathroom is the most common site of falling accidents. Tile floors get slippery. Throw rugs can slip out from underneath. Toilet seats are too low and getting upright becomes a problem. Fortunately, most home repair stores have devices that can help make the bathroom safer. Grab bars can be easily installed by tubs, showers, and toilets. Raised toilet seats are available. A nonslip seat can be placed in the tub or shower. Installing a handheld shower also makes bathing easier. Make sure rugs have nonskid backings or install carpeting. Non-slip appliqués may be easier for a tub and shower bottom than a bathmat. Faucet handles that can be pushed or pulled rather than turned are also a big help.

The Kitchen

The kitchen is also a dangerous spot. One simple step that can minimize accidents is to rearrange what is in their cabinets. If items they use often are placed high up and out-of-reach, find space for these items lower down-and then make sure they have a very sturdy stepstool for the times that they insist on getting items that are placed on the top shelves. Also, cabinet and drawer pulls that are not knobs but areand shaped like a letter C are easier to pull and grip... and, think about replacing the faucet handles with levers that can be pushed or pulled rather than knobs that are turned. The microwave becomes safer to use when it is on a countertop. The dishwasher becomes easier to use if it can be raised-as does the clothes dryer. While any stove can be a danger, an electric range may also be an option if you worry about your parents forgetting they have already turned a gas burner on and then reaching across it to turn it on again. Also, if your parents have an older model gas stove that needs to be lit with a match, you may want to replace it-a match held in shaky fingers is one worry too many. Knives and cooking utensils can be purchased with easy-to-grip handles. You can also look for lighter-weight pots and pans and sturdier dishes and glassware. Some "glassware" made from acrylic looks very much like glass, but is shatter-proof, a big plus.

Other Considerations

You can replace the door handles throughout the house with lever-type handles. Make sure the house has working smoke and carbon monoxide alarms-and you may want to hook your parents up with an alarm system that is monitored 24 hours per day. Telephones are also made with large easy-to-read buttons and are able to be programmed so that hitting one number will call a family member or a doctor. If your parents' home has stairs and you can not make a bedroom for them on the main floor of the home, then make sure the stair banister is extra sturdy. Leaning heavily on a banister can loosen the screws over time-check them periodically. And make sure that any rugs at the top of the stairs have a non-slip backing-or remove the rugs from these danger spots. You may want to replace light bulbs throughout the house with brighter bulbs at higher wattages. You can arrange for yard care and help with outdoor maintenance or tasks if a family member can not do it and in many communities, you can have groceries and pharmacy items delivered. And, you may want to get to know at least one neighbor well whom you can call or who will call you if they suspect your parent may be in trouble. Check with the Office of the Aging in your parents' community. In many towns, a hot meal can be delivered daily or transportation is provided to a senior center, doctors' offices, or shopping centers.

Caring for an aging parent can be complicated-reversing roles from the one being cared for to the one doing the care giving can bring out a wealth of emotions and issues. Knowing that your parents' environment is safe makes your care giving role that much easier and your parents' life that much better.