Getting Their Way

The children had the day off from school, but Mother had to go to work. She had told the boys that they could spend the day at the Boys Club.

Mother had been hurrying the boys along while at the same time getting herself ready for work. They had resisted, saying that they wanted to stay home.

"No, you are not going to stay home alone, and that's that. I would worry about you all day. Now, hurry up. You're going to make me late for work.

Just then Mother remembered that she had done nothing about the boys' lunch.

"Oh, by the way, boys, I want you to pack your lunch. I don't have time, so hurry up. There is lunch meat in the refrigerator and plenty of peanut butter. Each of you pack what you want to eat."

"I don't want to pack a lunch because the sandwiched get soggy," Daniel protested.

"Oh, come on. Lots of people pack their lunches and don't complain about soggy sandwiches. You're just stalling."

"I don't want lunch meat - or peanut butter."

"Now hurry up, do as I say. It's getting late. I'm going to have to leave you if you're not ready."

The boys made no move to pack their lunches.

Mother left and the boys stayed home.

The children learned that when they don't want to do something, if the balk long enough, they can get out of it.

Mother set herself up to fail when she issued an ultimatum: Hurry up or I'm going to leave you. Of course, that is what they wanted her to do.

It would have helped if Mother had thought about the lunches ahead of time. However, since she didn't, it would have been wise if she had come up with another alternative - not allowing them to win the power struggle.

"If you pack your lunches by the time I am ready to leave, we can stop on the way home tonight for pizza. If the boys had failed to comply, they would have had to face the consequences: no pizza on the way home.

Children need parents who are strong enough to allow them to suffer if they fail to live up to what is required of them.